Clearly, I just didn’t know what to think. I did, however, know what to do.
I had been here before - this lost place. I remembered the exercise that I had come up with to get myself grounded. I walked to the side of the road and looked down at my feet. If Everything is It, I told myself, then what is right in front of me could inform me about what I was going through? In the dry, high desert grass at the side of the road. I saw a piece of litter, a rusted tin can. I freed it from the tangled grass and sandy earth where it had laid waiting for decades, coloring and shaping itself for just this moment. What a gift. What a prize. What a surprise. What a present.
I held the tin can rose above the road in the direction of California and took a picture to memorialize the event. I knew that it was just a piece of litter. It really wasn’t a rose. I knew that it was only my own foolishness that made it anything else. I understood that all of my fears and considerations about moving to California ---”It’s so expensive there. What are you going to do to make a living?” --- all of it ---didn’t really mean anything either. It was only what I made of it that gave it any meaning.
When I got back in the car I smiled when I saw The Fool tarot card that I had placed in a slat on the dashboard after drawing it that morning. I picked it up and laughed out loud when I noticed that he was carrying a rose as he stepped off the cliff. I stepped on the gas and leapt into the future.”
An excerpt from my first book; The Present -Finding Myself in the Middle of NowHere.
You can read or download the PDF of the entire book right here, right now!
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